Do you have a wounded inner teenager? Here's why your inner teen might be messing up your relationships and life...

Move over inner child, it's time you gave your inner teenager some attention.

You’ve all heard of the inner child. It’s a bit of a therapy buzzword at the moment, and for good reason, connecting to your inner child can be a profound source of healing. BUT in all this focus on the inner child we’ve neglected an equally important part - the wounded inner teenager.

The wounded inner teenager comes out when we self-destruct. When we’re reactive or impulsive or selfish or push people away. The inner teenager is alive in each one of us, but particularly if you tend to struggle with self-care, engage in any addictive or impulsive behaviours or end up in quite turbulent relationships.

The teenage years are also the time when we start to explore romantic relationships. This is the beginning of where our attachment wounds get played out in relationships outside of our families. Remember falling out with your friends every two seconds? Or crying over unrequited love? Or screaming at your parents? Everything is dramatic, everything feels like life or death, and your emotions are completely running the show. It’s exhausting and volatile and confusing. And if we don’t heal this part, it can continue to show up in our relationships and life.

Signs of a wounded inner teenager

• Emotionally reactive 

• Self-destructive

• Defensive

• Addictions + eating disorders

• Getting into dangerous situations

• Drawn to drama and chaos

• Rebellious and angry

• Feeling hyper-independent, like you don’t need anyone, or struggling to ask for help

• Pushing people away and isolating

• Not able to think of the consequences of your actions, or take responsibility 

• Mood swings

• Zoning out into front of the TV/scrolling

• Explosive anger

• Lack of self-care

• Inability to compromise

• Self-sabotaging

• Blaming others or being in victim-mindset

• Resentment

• Feeling a lack of agency

If you recognise your inner teenager might be haing a detrimental effect on your life and relationships, let’s get into exactly what’s going on and how we can heal this.